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Posted March 13, 2014 by Ashton Graves in Editorial
 
 

Throwback Article Thursday: 10 Reasons to STFU about L4D2 Boycott

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l4d2_boycott

This week at AFK we’re launching Throwback Thursday! Here we’ll be bringing you a slew of articles from the past that we think are pretty awesome and still hold a topical point of contention for gamers everywhere. Like the idea? Hate the idea? Let us know in the comments section below!

10 Reasons to STFU about L4D2 Boycott

So if you haven’t been under a rock since E3 then you probably know all about the shit storm that has 18,000 over zealous fanboys boycotting usually fan favorite game developer Valve and their new game Left 4 Dead 2.

All of these people are boycotting the highly anticipated sequel to last years best selling L4D.  They feel that all the things they’re doing in the new game could be easily updated and sent out in free installments from Valve.  And of course, they’re not gonna buy the game because of that.

You know what I’m not buying? The load of crap you happy-go-lucky fanboys are toting around handing out like candy. This has caused me to create a top ten list with reasons WHY you’ll still be paying for Left 4 Dead 2 no matter how much you bitch about it.

10. Game Making Isn’t Free!

I’m really sad that I even have to fucking say this. Especially in this economic climate you, the gamers and fans, should be lucky these developers are still even being able to FUND new game projects right now. In case you don’t realize this, generally when a game wraps in completion, the development team doesnt stay the same size.  In fact, it usually declines in numbers.  Since there was such a big response from the fanbase for this game the L4D dev team actually grew by a few members which brings me to my next point….

9. How Much Free Shit Have You Had?

Seriously, for all of those people out there who are complaining about L4D2 allow me to produce this arguement for you. When The Orange Box released did you sit on your ass and whine about how you already had the Half Life games or did you go out and buy it anyway because it was a really good bundle deal? I think the sales numbers behind The Orange Box answer that question itself. Since the release of The Orange Box with Team Fortress 2, Valve has had one of the most successful runs with constant FREE upgrades that are evolving gameplay and the way people look at shooters. Oh, did I mention the SDK for L4D that Valve is handing out? You know incase you wanna work your own fingers to the bone making levels because we know you like that.

8. PC Over Console and the War Between

The next person I hear talking about how 1337 they are with their computer running so fast that it can literally jump through time and KILL HITLER AS A CHILD thus stopping all of World War II is gonna get punched in their babymaker. Ok we get it, you are the coolest person living in a studio apartment, with your cats, eating cheetos with your Optimus Keyboard and $5000 dollar super rig which doubles as a coffin in which you will be buried and die ALONE. But for the rest of the gaming world, they do have things that are a cheaper alternative for us people who have bills. They’re called consoles and the one which hosts L4D is the XBOX 360. Why else wouldnt Valve release this all with incremental updates? Because it’s generally considered a bad move to alienate all those people who bought the XBOX 360′s with the 20GB hard drive. Did I forget to mention that the House of M (aka Microsoft) has a content size limit on all updates and generally frown on free DLC?

7. Coding Ain’t Easy

How many of you have actually set down and programmed something from scratch? Really just dug your hands into it and created something from nothing, let alone something from nothing that sold 2 million copies. Actually scratch that…go open up Adobe Flash and try and make something cool. Go ahead, we’ll wait.

*whistles*

Wow, that was fast. Gave up after drawing that first stick figure and then shitting your pants when you had no idea what to do after that right? Now imagine that you already have the cool awesome stickman adventure drawn out but someone wants you to go back and redo it frame by frame but better….for free….”Fuck that!” you say? Fuck that INDEED.

6. Time Keeps On Slippin’ Slippin’ Slippin’

How many of you out there do I constantly hear complaining that full sequels to games shouldn’t take that long. Do you remember when you used to wait 2 to 3 years for a sequel? I’m still waiting on Kingdom Hearts 3. It’s been THREE YEARS and there is still no sign of it. If you’re complaining because we’re getting a game a year later then don’t you have some of those cheetos I mentioned earlier to shove in your stupid hole so it doesn’t effect the rest of us? I know why you’re all worried about a game within the span of Three Six Five…

5. WITCHES! Wait…No…GLITCHES!

Valve Corporation has been making games since 1998. Now that may not sound like a long time to you guys but the ability of a game company to stay afloat and release good games while doing so is kind of a huge deal in the market. They have also always kept up on updates and glitch fixes. But really were the glitches in L4D that bad? Don’t act like you didn’t use the door beat down glitch in No Mercy or that you haven’t used the Warehouse Boxes glitch for survival in Blood Harvest. How many of you out there didn’t win at least on round of Versus mode by pushing a forklift in front of the elevator doors? No matter how you slice it, isn’t it the little exploits that give us such excitement and accomplishment to find and unearth?

4. Shop Smart, Shop S-MART

I love Left 4 Dead so much that I bought 3 copies of the game. I bought one copy for my 360 and then two copies on PC. One of which I gave as a birthday present to a close friend of mine. I bought those extra two copies because occasionally Valve puts things on sale through their downloadable service called Steam. I picked up 2 copies of the game for less than I paid for my 360 version. Even if people don’t buy the game initially you know they will when that sale goes on because for the price of $19.99 you can either have a month of that new MMO you wanted to try that might suck of some gauranteed ZOMBIE KILLIN’ GOODNESS. The choice is yours but we all know how the mass public will vote.
3. Hot Dog Down a Hallway

I’m sure that whoever spearheaded this crazy “ZOMG VALVE IS TRYIN TO SECKZ UP MAH WALLETS!” probably thinks that 18.5K people is a lot of people but allow me to put this in perspective for you. The first L4D sold 2.5 million copies…and that was in March of 2009. I don’t know if you internet script kiddies out there know how to use a calculator but thats less than 0.75% of sales. If you think that Valve, let alone anyone, is even going to notice that then I can only say one thing – good job goober face.

2. They’re Going to Update Both

I think this pretty much says everything. The SDK levels will work on both games. There has even been the idea of bringing the first game characters into the second game levels and vice versa but that’s expensive and requires voice acting. Valve has no intention of abandoning the first game just because the new one if out. How many people do you know that purchase every yearly iteration of EA’s FOOTBALL or Tiger Woods knocks around balls? Those come out every year with minimal changes. At least Valve isn’t in the business of screwing you because they not only love their fans, they love the games too. That’s why we buy from them or have you all forgotten that?

1. You’re a Cheap Bastard

I feel that really this is what everything boils down too. I don’t get it. If you’re just gonna be a whiner then don’t buy the game.  I don’t want you in my versus match complaining about how you dropped sixty bucks on a game that you hate…which you’re still playing. I get that this is the generation of entitlement and you all think that everything should be free but is buying stuff really such a hassle? If you want great games to keep coming you have to occasioanlly buy one. I know that you’re holding this boycott because you think its gonna be a game changer but really all you’re going to do is possibly alienate yourself as that group of assholes who tried to stop a great game from being sold.

In closing I will leave you all with the words of a great philosopher who said….

“You can’t always get what you want….but if you try sometimes….you just might get what you need.”


Ashton Graves

 
The biggest all around Nerd you'll ever meet. I'm internet famous (see http://www.siradio.fm ) and I'm an avid lover of comics, movies, games, and music. I'm a little bit angry and probably a little bit biased but I will always give you something to think about.